What is an absolute?

I have a friend who occasionally reads my blog. He read my latest post (The Spirituality of Coloring Books) and called me, resulting in an interesting conversation. Basically, he told me that he perceived a “rigidness” in my thought process that surprised him. I was caught off guard and told him so asking him why he felt that way. While the entire conversation between us was probably 45 minutes long, I’ve tried to encapsulate it here:

“Well, Paul” he said, “as usual your stuff is pretty well written. Good thought flow and use of examples. Even your punctuation accentuates what you write (this guy is a college professor, can you tell?) but I couldn’t help but notice the use of absolutes. I mean “I believe there are base lines that are there and have always been there” he quoted, and “the base line has never changed. Our need to give and receive love can’t be altered.” Aren’t those, in fact, blanketing statements? Don’t comments of that nature leave little if any room for an opposing view? That approach is so………..locked down” he said pausing as if looking for the right phrase to use that I wouldn’t find insulting, “is that truly what you meant to say?”

I stopped and carefully considered what he was saying. I must have been silent for a full minute but he didn’t interrupt. Dan and I have been great friends for many years and he patiently waited.

“Yeah” I finally told him “Yeah, that is what I truly meant to say. Are you suggesting, Dan, that I shouldn’t consider love an absolute?”

“I’m not saying you should or should not” he responded “I’m saying in all the conversations I’ve ever had with you, your emphasis has almost always been on acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness. To say anything is a requirement or unalterable is out of character for you, that’s all.”

“Dan, let me ask you a question” I continued “ aren’t acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness all aspects of love? “ before he could answer I went on “I’ve seen love when properly expressed cross emotional gulfs which seemed unsurpassable, save the lives of others at extreme cost and eliminate deep seated hatreds and problems every time, Dan, every time.”

“Really?” he said, “What about the abusive parent or spouse who seemingly, at all other times expresses love yet can’t control an abusive nature? How has love helped them?”

“Sorry, Dan, that’s not love. I’m judged by my actions, not my intentions. If I say “I was confused” or I behaved badly, really I have a heart of gold” that’s patented nonsense. If I’m bad tempered or mean I can’t possibly have a “heart of gold”. A bad tempered, mean action shows a mean, selfish heart and I should do everything I can to begin a process of change. Whenever I love I don’t seek my own advantage. Love acts the part, anything else is hypocrisy. Is that absolute? You bet. That’s the kind of absolute that eliminates the need for all the others. I’ll stand on that one. Do I always act by that belief? Absolutely not. I probably don’t do it 30% of the time. But I can sense and feel and even know that this is the right approach and I’ll constantly strive to get better.”

“OK, OK” he said “But what does that thought process have to do with religion and why would you post it on your website?”

I remember kind of chuckling, “Thinking like that has nothing to do with religion” I told him “They’re worlds apart.”

You know, I’ve played that conversation over in my head at length since last night. It seems to me that the majority of people either define themselves by those things that serve, ultimately, their own egos or, like my friend, prefer to define themselves by nothing at all. As a matter of fact, when I asked Dan what he defined himself by he said “the moment”. Sounds cool and ethereal and philosophical but moments change. I can’t help but think if I tried to define myself by changing moments I’d end up pretty confused. I told Dan I am, at least at this point in my journey, trying to define myself by service to others whenever possible.

Usually, as a result, my ego doesn’t get in my way or theirs.

The Spirituality of Coloring Books

I've spent the last four days with my three year old grandson at my cabin on 3 acres in Mid-Michigan. Just him and me. Brett and Papa. My wife, son, daughter-in-law and daughter are all sports coaches and were travelling to a training session in Indiana from Thursday to Sunday. I'm pretty worn out (I'd forgotten what it was to watch a three-year old non-stop!) but I had a great time, as did he.

We stayed busy (walks in the woods, four wheelers, cartoons, countless imitations of superheroes) but one of the things I enjoyed the most was our time spent coloring. You see, at three, fine motor skills are not fully honed. The idea is there but the ability is not and therefore you get colors "outside of the lines". I patiently explained to him over the course of three days how to handle a crayon, slow down and really acknowledge the lines. How to mix the colors, recognize what the shape was and recall what he knew about that particular shapes color, ("What color are fire engines, Brett?" "Oh! Red, they're red Papa, should I use the red crayon?") Was he Rembrandtesque by the time we left Sunday? Certainly not, but man had he improved quickly.

As I participated in this exercise I couldn't help but think that life was very similiar. We all come to the conclusion eventually that we are best served when we "stay in the lines" of life. The question is how far we take it and how closely we study those lines. We all get different coloring books with different pictures but I believe there are "base lines" that are always there and have always been there. Those lines form themselves into representations of the need to receive and share love.

Now don't get me wrong, I know there are circumstances and people (parents, teachers, television) that can and do seem to superimpose the wrong lines over the base lines but the truth of the matter is the base line has never changed. Our need to give and receive love can't be altered. Those lines can be confused with others, even horribly disfigured by "coloring" haphazardly with no direction over the top and outside of, to the point of being unable to see what the original intention of those base lines was but that still doesn't change those base lines! And one of the most telling lessons I learned coloring with Brett was that when I turned the page, presto! There was a new set of lines that we could start all over again with taking what we had learned from the previous page. The better he got at it the less he remembered the past errors.

I know that sounds simplistic. Tons of questions remain. What about abused children? What about dysfunctional homes? Drug and alcohol abuse? Racism, hate crimes, war and genocide? How can you expect a person living through nightmarish circumstances to try to "color within the lines" of life as you detail in your silly example?

The serenity prayer states "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Start with you. Study the "pictures" you've colored. Find the base lines. Turn the page and get a little better every day.

When Brett and I put the coloring books away last Saturday night, he held his last picture in his hand. It was of "Dora the Explorer" pulling a wagon on a trail. The trees were green, the trail was brown, the sky was blue and Dora's hair was black. It was far from perfect and at the same time one of the most perfect things I had ever seen. "Are you going to give this to Mama?" I asked.

"Nope" he said quickly.

"Well who then?" I said "you've got to show this to somebody."

His next six words stunned me, "For you, Papa, you showed me."

This weekend my grandson learned how to color. I learned a hell of a lot more.

How to Evangelize

What a loaded title, eh? Another Christian blogger about to go off on a tangent about Saviors, the sinner’s prayer and that mind numbing "Do it this way or die!" speech. Give me a break already!

OK, I will.

When I talk about my faith I don't demand a decision. I don't detail the saving love and grace Jesus spoke of and modeled. That's "head" information. Go to any Church. They'll tell you about Jesus. At least there interpretation. Nope, when I really want to effectively evangelize, I take the advice of one Michael Jackson (kind of ironic) I look at the man in the mirror. Then change.

You see, I have no right to judge the hidden motivations or thoughts of others. I don't possess the ability to do that anyway. I can't read minds. I'll tell you one mind I do know, however, and that's my own. I know why I say and do things. I know what drives me in different situations. Sometimes it's fear, at other times it's jealousy, occasionally I'm angry and at still others it may be I'm greedy. But I am rarely driven by pure unconditional love. Oh, I try, and honestly, I'm getting better at it, but it still doesn't happen that often.

And I'm going to tell a homosexual Jesus can save him? Then pepper my speech by telling him that my "God of Love" will burn and punish him for eternity if he doesn't change? What is wrong with this picture?!

First of all, I don't believe it was ever what Jesus taught. He constantly spoke of the need for repentance, yes, but He meant my own, not everyone else’s. You want spiritual advice from me and I'll tell you to examine your day to day motivations and ask Source to help you change them to be driven by love and compassion. What brings you closer to God isn't the sinner’s prayer or words that say "I'm a loser". No, what brings you closer to God is true recognition of your thought process as it relates to love and an honest, consistent attempt to alter that thought process to be more inclusive of everyone, even and especially, those you don't care for. Can you imagine helping a person who's cheated on his wife reestablish his relationship with her by telling him specific words to say, walking him to the front door of his house, handing him a slip of paper with the words written on it and telling him to hand them to his wife while I stand back on the porch and watch? How ridiculous would that be?! Do you think she would truly care what those words were? Of course not! What she would be interested in (assuming she was willing to take him back, of course) would be true contrition and a willingness to cease the behavior ("Then neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more" Guess who said that?). Love isn't looking to be the nightstick that keeps you in line, it's looking to build and solidify you so that you might share Love with everyone you meet. If you can do this everything falls into line and circumstances stop mattering. They just kind of fall into place on their own. You want to Evangelize? Love. Love stupidly with reckless abandon. Love until people look at you cockeyed and say "Why are you so nice to me?" Love with a purpose.

Then you don't have to go on and on about God to anyone because you are Him to everyone. God is love. Keep it simple.

"A" way or "The" way?

Yes, yes I know, for all three of you that occasionally read my posts the question is "where have you been?" I’ve spent the summer reading, working, studying and listening. Sometimes a Sabbatical can do a body good. When you quietly let Source figure things for you instead of trying to figure out Source, well, some neat things can happen. It's been a good summer.

That being said, in my interactions and discussions this summer I have been repeatedly faced with questions or situations that challenge the "exclusivity" my Christian faith purports to be necessary to achieve eternal life. In short, as Lee Strobel says, "Many people consider it arrogant, narrow-minded and bigoted for Christians to contend that the only path to God must go through Jesus of Nazareth. In a day of religious pluralism and tolerance, this exclusivity claim is politically incorrect, a verbal slap in the face of other belief systems."

So, is Jesus "A' way or "The" way?

I have considered this at length and followed several blogs and read and talked all through these past three months. "Pastor Ernie" at www.lrchouston.com has some outstanding posts regarding the foolishness behind most organized religion which I resoundingly agree with. I have a sneaking suspicion that he believes with the "The" way crowd ( of course, I could be dead wrong ) but his insight and cutting commentary have entertained and delighted me while giving me much food for thought.

Another outstanding blogger is Eruesso at http://agod-sizedpuzzle.blogspot.com/ He is a very thoughtful and insightful young man who is becoming more and more well educated in world religions. I think (emphasis on I) that he leans more to the "A" way side. He's quick to point out Jesus as his way but welcomes all other faiths with open arms, seeing at least some value in most of them. Eruesso is easily one of the most thorough and explanatory bloggers I have read. I love his stuff.

I have also read a few books by Ravi Zacharias (Can Man Live Without God? A Shattered Visage, The Real Face of Atheism) in which he claims that Christianity is not the only religion to claim exclusivity. He says the Muslim faith believes that the sole, sufficient, and consummate miracle of Islam is the Koran and that it is only recognizable in Arabic. Any translation desacrilizes it. Buddhism, he goes on to explain, was born when Gautama Buddha rejected the ultimate authority of the Vedas (Hindu scriptures) and the caste system. Hinduism, he claims, is absolutely uncompromising on the law of Karma, the authority of the Vedas and reincarnation. Zacharias believes there are four fundamental questions that every religion seeks to answer: Origin, Meaning, Morality and Destiny. To quote him “I believe that only the answers of Jesus Christ correspond to reality. There is coherence among his answers unlike those of any other religion."

So where does this leave me? I'm not a spiritual giant. I don't have all the answers. But let me share a passage from Lee Strobels "A Case for Faith" The author was interviewing Charles Templeton, an avowed atheist and prolific author, who had originally been a preaching counterpart of Billy Graham’s. Templeton had very eloquently detailed for Strobel the reasons he could not believe in God. Toward the end of the interview, Strobel asked Templeton a question. Let me allow the passage to explain the rest:

"And so how do you assess this Jesus?" It seemed like the next logical question-but I wasn't ready for the response it would evoke.

Templeton's body language softened. It was as if he suddenly felt relaxed and comfortable in talking about an old and dear friend. His voice, which at times had displayed such a sharp and insistent edge, now took on a melancholy and reflective tone. His guard, seemingly down, he spoke in an unhurried pace, almost nostalgically, carefully choosing his words as he talked about Jesus.

"He was" Templeton began, "the greatest human being who has ever lived. He was a moral genius. His ethical sense was unique. He was the intrinsically wisest person that I've ever encountered in my life or in my readings. His commitment was total and lead to his own death, much to the detriment of the world. What could one say about him except that this was a form of greatness?"

I was taken aback. "You sound like you really care about him." I said.

"Well, yes, he's the most important thing in my life," came his reply, "I....I....I," he stuttered, searching for the right word, "I know it may sound strange, but I have to say......I adore him!"

I wasn't sure how to respond. "You say that with some emotion," I said.

"Well, yes. Everything good I know, everything decent I know, everything pure I know I learned from Jesus. Yes....yes. And tough! Just look at Jesus. He castigated people. He was angry. People don't think of him that way, but they don't read the Bible. He had a righteous anger. He cared for the oppressed and exploited. There's no question that he had the highest moral standard, the least duplicity, the greatest compassion of any human being in history. There have been many other wonderful people but Jesus is Jesus."

"And so, the world would do well to emulate him?"

"Oh, my goodness, yes! I have tried-and try is as far as I can go-to act as I have believed he would act. That doesn't mean I could read his mind, because one of the most fascinating things about him was that he often did the opposite thing you'd expect---"

Abruptly, Templeton cut short his thoughts. There was a brief pause, almost as if he was uncertain whether he should continue.

"Uh....but....no," he said slowly, "he's the most..." He stopped and then started again. "In my view" he declared, "he is the most important human being who has ever existed."

That's when Templeton uttered the words I never expected to hear from him. "And if I may put it this way," he said as his voice began to crack,” I....miss....him!"

With that, tears flooded his eyes. He turned his head and looked downward, raising his left hand to shield his face from me. His shoulders bobbed as he wept."
You know, I can't fathom God. Eternal Source is beyond my meager comprehension. All the books I read, the discussions I have or the church services and blogs I frequent can't do it for me either. But I can see the same attributes and feel the same emotions for Jesus that Templeton describes. For me, he was the purest representative of love the world has ever known. If God is love, that man was the total manifestation of it. Furthermore, whenever I consider him "A" way instead of "The" way I feel just like Templeton. I miss him terribly.

The Third "I am"

In my previous two posts I have talked about my beliefs regarding what and who I am. Both stages of discovery were marvelous progressions for me. Science had taught me an amazing amount about how both my brain and body worked and spiritual study, along with a few years of trial and error, had brought me to the point of truly being able to assess what was going on in my own head and adjusting my thought patterns in such a manner that most of the time, and I sincerely mean most of the time, I was acting in ways that benefitted myself and others. Don't get me wrong, I didn't agree with everyone but I was rarely disagreeable. I found an element of truth that I lived instead of being convinced that everyone else should live it as well. I even began to realize that when I was judgemental, ninety-nine percent of the time I acted like that because I had preconceptions instilled by outside circumstances and other people that I was afraid if abandoned, would leave me vulnerable and somehow in danger. How crazy is that!

As I travelled this road I sensed more and more, something really big flitting around the edges of my consciousness ( Boy, doesn't that sound Freudian!! ). In an earlier post (How did I get there?) I detailed an incredibly powerful, for lack of a better phrase, "conversion experience". It had only happened once, but it changed me completely. The sense of peace I had felt was never re-created and I didn't believe it could be. What I experienced was way, way bigger than anything I had been taught via religion. I had lost touch with that "sense of peace" a bit as I worked on the human aspects of my own healing but I felt it coming closer and closer again. I wanted so badly to feel and sense it but I could never quite grasp that totality again and it seemed the harder I tried the more slippery it became. (Am I making any sense here or have you gone on to some discussion topic like "song alphabet"?)

Finally, and this is the God's truth no matter how childish it sounds, I was shaving at five am one morning and I could feel that presence quietly moving around me. I put down the razor, looked in the mirror at a half shaved face and said in a teasingly adolescent voice, "OK, how much do you love me?" I don't know why I asked that particular question and I felt really foolish and wasn't sure if I wasn't losing my mind. 49 years old and talking to a mirror based on an ethereal feeling of goodness!

The power of the reaction was immediate. I felt waves of something washing over me like an unending tide. Source was back with a vengeance. It was incredibly powerful. I felt a light headedness and had to literally hold on to the sink to keep my legs from buckling. I used to think that "falling prostrate" stuff was for prophets and apostles not fifty year old ex-drunks but I'm not kidding, if I hadn't held on I would have been down. It was a sense of silliness and depth and everything and nothing all at the same time. It was huge and unending. It didn't go on forever, it was forever. I remember thinking to it/myself/whatever "OK,OK enough! I get it!" then sensing it withdraw slowly with what I can only describe as a feeling of pleasure at the sharing.


Please remember now, at this point I hadn't had a drink in five years. No mind altering chemicals of any sort beyond aspirin. I was totally sober and healthy.


I've been able to do this on many occassions since. As I relive these experiences I must share this with you: I sense no sin, no punishment, no judgement, and no irritation or condemnation of any sort from this flow of energy. Would I describe it with the word "love"? I'd have to say that's the closest word to it but it still falls way short as a descriptor. "Source" is a good word because I always feel really plugged in but that doesn't describe the incredible sense of innate peace and rightness that it shares as it pours through me. This is God as the word is meant to be understood. Way more than any religious dogma has ever been able to capture. Indescribably more. When I call to and experience this state of awe, I'm telling you honestly, I want to leave everything behind and go with it. It is that amazing. There is no way, in the presence of that power, sin and error as expressed in our religions could possibly exist. That power created me perfect and blameless. The love that brought me here heeds no call of baptism, confirmation, yom kippur or a daily call to prayer. No matter what circumstances I have been involved in throughout my life, no matter what failures, successes or unclimbable mountains I have faced, nothing, I mean nothing, can change the nature or pureness of that source of love. The most important thing I am expected to remember is that this source is always with me and always will be. "The kingdom of heaven is within you" and "I will never leave you nor forsake you" make a lot more sense to me than they ever did before. Original sin does not. I wasn't born with sin, I learned it and inflicted it on myself. But my core, my base, my very created nature is love. Plain and simple. That is the ultimate "I am".

Let me close with a few quotes and prayers I use.

These are from "A course in miracles"

"I seek my own identity and find it in these words:"Love, which created me, is what I am." Now need I seek no more. Love has prevailed. So still It waited for my coming home, that I will turn away no longer from the face of The Christ. And what I look upon attests to the truth of the Identity I sought to lose, but which my Father has kept safe for me."

" Father, my thanks to you for what I am: for keeping my Identity untouched and sinless, in the midst of all the thoughts of sin my foolish mind made up. And thanks to You for saving me from them. Amen."

"Father, I seek the peace You gave as mine in my creation. What was given then must be here now, for my creation was apart from time and still remains beyond all change. The peace in which Your Son was born into Your mind is shining there unchanged. I am as You created me I need but call on You to find the peace You gave."

Sound idealistic and impractical? A little to "out there" and "new age"? Meditate and ask the mirror a few well placed questions. You may be surprised at the response. Even throughout my journey I have never lost sight of the practical day to day requirements of life. As a matter of fact, this emphasis on spiritual growth has helped me immensely in that area. Is what I've shared a vision of the ideal? Absolutely! Is it possible to live every moment of our lives with this mind set? Absolutely not, only Source can do that. But, to quote Rick Warren:

Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension."

Go for it! It's worth the trip, doesn't take that long and you will be blessed.

The Second "I am"

My first post in this series defined what I am as a physical machine. In reality I believe that's all my physical being is. A body operated with set rules by a 3.5 pound organism called the brain. I think the best way for me to segue into the "second I am" is to quote several lines from Greg Boyd and Al Larsons book "Escaping the Matrix":

".......we are not much closer to understanding how the brain produces consciousness then we were a century ago. How is this three and a half pound physical organism able to consciously reflect on and even alter what it is thinking about? How are we able to become aware of and even modify what we see, hear and sense in our heads? We do not know.

In fact, some neuroscientists-and many others- believe that our ability to consciously modify our thoughts requires that we accept that we are more than a brain. As Jeffrey Schwartz has recently argued, it's not clear how we can explain the power of consciousness over neurological activity if consciousness is itself nothing more than neurological activity. As the Bible attests, we are more than our brains, we are spirit. And the most amazing and least understood aspect of the brain is it's ability to interact with the spirit.

All the remaining chapters (in this book) , in one way or another, address the issue of how we, as spirit-beings can program the brains neurological circuitry in accordance with truth. But first we need to become aware of how the magnificent efficiency of this neurological circuitry works against us when we don't conciously take authority over it. "

Bingo! No Hocus Pocus, no outside forces storming into my existence. Simply an understanding that I was the problem and the solution at the same time. The phrase "Remember man that you are dust..." took on a whole new meaning. I couldn't help but wonder wether the point of that statement had always been miscontrued by me to mean some reminder to seek humility when actually it meant "Hey! Take authority over that mix of matter and chemicals. That really is all your made of! Control it, don't let it control you!"

So I started working on it. I began, for lack of a better phrase, to "watch the thinker". I would allow what I was beginning to recognize as that other entity that was entirely me but seperate from my physical being, to assess what was happening to me without changing it. I couldn't correct course until I understood what that course was. I learned not to criticize or beat up "the thinker". It was only doing what it was designed to do. I had to learn to conciously alter the thinkers processes. It was difficult and sometimes ( a lot of times actually ) I failed. It was so easy to fall back into the fear and trepidation and allow it to control my emotions and reactions. Slowly, I began to change my thoughts and my actions followed suit. As I applied myself more and more real change brought real peace and I began for the first time in my life to experience something like awe. Who I was was starting to direct what I was. I found that as long as who I was was maintaining a positive motivation what I was followed suit. That was sometimes a trick too.

Than an even more startling revelation took place but this post is long enough now. The third "I am" will have to wait until Monday.

The first "I am"

Over these past seven years my spiritual journey has taken me to some amazing places. I've learned more about myself in that time period than I have in the preceding 45 years. I was (like most people, I think) always searching. I just consistently picked up the wrong tools. I wanted answers to come from the outside and move in never realizing, like Dorothy in Oz, that the ruby slippers I possessed the whole time were the answer all along.



I've come to the conclusion, at least for this season in Paul's life, that it's all about the "I am" thing.



As an alcoholic, when you finally surrender, the "I am" you initially learn about is best described by the phrase "What I am". I found out that what I am is a physical being made up of chemicals, compounds, matter and a whole bunch of water. I know, I know sounds pretty dry and droll, but the interaction of those things cause me to react in certain ways. When my body is cold, I shiver to create warmth. When I'm tired, I sleep. I learned physical actions to take when I felt depressed or over-stressed. In other words, I learned to influence my body using methods that were far different than the ones I had been using. For instance: When an alcoholic is craving a drink it is often the result of a sugar deficiency. A guzzled bottle of orange juice or chocolate will solve the problem. The brain create's the feeling of contentment by producing a chemical called Dopamine and passing that chemical between communication points within the brain called "synapses". When you use alcohol consistently dopamine is artificially produced. Over a long period of time the brain simply stops producing it on it's own. The path of least resistance and all.

When you first stop using alcohol as the artificial stimulant of this chemical, the brain takes a while to realize it and catch up. This is often the reason for the depression (and consequently relapse) so many alcoholics experience. A good game of tennis with the resulting physical exertion will result in mass amounts of dopamine being produced. Different tool, same effect.

What's the point of this physiology lesson? Simply this: while certainly glorious and incredibly complex, it has occured to me that the body is a machine. That's what I am, physically speaking. This machine reacts and learns based on chemical interaction. If the input the machine recives is incorrect or skewed, absent another entity correcting the processes put into place, this machine does not function properly. This failure to function properly affects not only the base physical being, as in illnesses, but also the mental and thereby emotional well being of the organism.

Aha! The other entity! It's God, right? Or faith. Or Jesus, or the Buddah or some other religous icon.

I used to think like that.

But surprise! Somewhere along the way I realized that other entity is me. The spiritual me. My ruby slippers. The answer I always had and never acknowledged. And then it got bigger. You see, it's me but it's you too. And the guy down the street. And my brother.

You see the other entity is the second "I am". The first was what I am. The second is, simply stated:

"Who I am"

More tomorrow.